by Jonathan David Morris
I like how news shows are devoting serious time to the question of whether American Idol is too mean this year.
No, its not too mean this year. Nor was it too mean last yearthe last time you asked this question.
If anything, American Idol isnt mean enough.
In the opening week of its sixth season, Idol rejected two weird-looking kids with no singing talent. One was Jonathan Jayne, whos fat and autistic. The other was Kenneth Briggs, who Simon Cowell said looked like a bush baby. The media are all up in arms about this now. Every show from Today to Scarborough Country wants you to feel bad for how these two poor souls were treated.
Its true Briggs and Jayne are human beings. And its true human beings deserve to be treated humanely. But theres a time and a place to treat humans like humans, and that time and place is called everyday life.
American Idol is a show. More importantly, its a filter. Thousands of people stupidly think they can be rock stars. This show gives them a chance to find out.
What would you say if you saw two weird-looking kids with bad voices singing on TV one day? If it wasnt on Idol, you would never see them. These kinds of people dont get on TV.
This isnt because their lives have no meaning. Its because they cant sing, and they arent nice to look at. They dont belong on television, and they dont belong in record stores.
You may think this is shallow, and you would be right. But you would also be missing the point of the entertainment industry. Pop music doesnt exist to fulfill some deep human artistic need. It exists to make money by entertaining people. People are entertained by good singing. They are also entertained by people who look good.
No one wants to see ugly people who cant sing on TV. TVs an escape, and there are enough ugly people who cant sing in our everyday lives.
If youre ugly and cant sing, and you want to be famous, youll have to be famous for something other than singing. If you insist on singing anyway, your only chance is American Idol. If you dont want to be judged by the entertainment industrys standards, dont subject yourself to the entertainment industrys judgment.
At least theyre giving you a chance.
Jonathan David Morris is a political writer -- and sometimes satirist -- based in Pennsylvania. A strong believer in small government, JDM often takes aim at oppressive taxes, entitlements, and laws, writing about incompetence at the highest levels of culture and government. Catch his weekly ramblings at readjdm.com.